Thursday, December 23, 2010

Just what I wanted this Christmas!

 A longer wait!! Really, you shouldn't have. No, I mean, you Really. Shouldn't. Have.
I'm not sure if the sarcasm is coming across in the written word? Are you picking it up ok?
On Monday, 4 days before Christmas Eve '10, we got a letter from our agency stating that there would be an additional wait for paperwork to be sent to Korea, up to 4-6 months. Additionally, referrals are up to 9 months wait. The short version is that we're now looking at a year to a year and a half from now to bring our baby girl home. We had been thinking summer of 2011, and it's now looking like winter of 2011 or spring/summer of 2012.
And oh, there's a fee increase.
Merrrrrryyy Christmas!!!
I'd been hearing a buzz  about this on the yahoo boards, so it wasn't a total surprise, but it still stung to see it there in print.
I was devastated. Angry. Annoyed. I let it all percolate for a few days. I think it's important to feel emotions in some organic way. Sadness and disappointment exist; better to let them bloom, combust, then sweep the dust away for a tidier more content existence.
Then I began forming mental lists, because lists make me feel organized and like there's order to the universe, which I badly needed to believe at this point. An attempt to find a silver lining of any sort: 
At least we have Bek. If this were our first adoption it would be much more devastating. If the whole thing (God Forbid) fell apart, We Have Bek, the greatest kid we could ever hope for.
What's another 6(ish) months at this point?
We'll have more time to save more money.
We'll have more time to finish bathroom/other house renovations.
A year and a half is still quicker than many of the other country programs and it's certainly the minimum "new norm" in international adoptions. China is at 6-7 years!
Int'l adoptions are NOT easy and bumps in the road are part of the process. Country closings, bureaucratic BS,  paperwork and policy changes, travel issues, political scares, societal climate's ALL part of the process and I really should have expected it.
 We are lucky to be adopting at all, let alone complaining about a longer wait. Requirements are strict and it's very expensive. Be thankful we are in this spot at all.
We may get in and out in the nick of time, as they are projected to close all together in 2012. 
And as a good friend reminded me, 6 extra months is nothing compared to the lifetime you will have your baby for after the Godforsaken Waiting Time!
Yes, it feels as if we've been at this forever, (quite literally YEARS of waiting for a second child and many different country changes!), yes it is disappointing. But wallowing in it does not change the outcome, it only breeds negative energy.
Focusing on what we have, being grateful for being "in line" at all, and going with the flow is the only way to get through this! Besides, it is Christmas, and I can't let something that is out of my control dictate how holly or jolly I am. How we react to our own situation, what our perception is, is what does.
Merry Christmas Everyone!


Masha said...

So sorry for the news. Unfortunately, less than perfectly pleasant news seems to be circulating a lot but it's the holidays. Just hang in there, take the bad days for what they are and revel in the good ones. Merry Christmas!

Susan K. said...

We'll get there - hang in Seoul Sister! I don't know about you, but I plan to be well over the Max BMI by the time we travel to get our babies, so take THAT S. Korea!
LOL - Happy Holidays & Hugs x 3