Monday, June 28, 2010

Fingerprints, Redux

So tomorrow we get to go downtown to redo, or actually renew, our fingerprints. Another trip to Homeland Security! To the sterile white square room with the American flags in the corner. We'll check in with the pleasant balding man at the desk behind the sliding glass door and hand him our very official I-797C forms. We'll wait, fidgeting with Bek, while a small wall mounted t.v. burbles out the morning news. They'll eventually call our names, and we'll be taken back to have each one of our digits bio metrically scanned. And that will be that.
In simpler terms, this will let the Government know that we haven't done anything illegal in the last 18 months, and therefor are still able to parent a child.
As bland and insignificant as this seems, it is really what I need! I have been very afraid to get fully vested in this process. Even though my body is going through the steps, my heart is afraid that once again something will happen, shut down, the sky will fall, we'll have to back out again. I'm like Charlie Brown with Lucy pulling the ball out from under him. I'm the jilted lover who's been dumped one too many times. I'm the...ok, you get the idea. I'm afraid to get attached to this little paper baby. It's my heart and mind's protection process of course, to shield me from anymore pain. Quite amazing, really.
But nothing makes the pending adoption of a child feel more real than a required visit to a government building. To have a certified form sanctioned by the United States of America, Department of Homeland Security to carry in your possession, which allows this formal and legitimate process to take place. What could be more real than that??

1 comment:

Amy and Corey said...

I know exactly what you mean. Even though we are fully commited to Russia, I have this whole chart in Excel saved on my computer called "adoption options". It's my 2nd, 3rd and 4th choices in the event of catastrophe and tears...in other words, Russia shuting down to international adoption. And I keep it updated. It lists country, costs, timelines and agency among other things. But this won't happent to either of us. I'm just being cautious, and I'm keeping a bit of that wall around my heart too.